The Truth about Friendships

“Some friends gladly stay, some move away. Some come and go, but their affections grow. While some, I recall, are not friends at all.”

― Primadonna Angela

Admit it! You’re busy. So busy that sometimes you forget to feed the goldfish or put on your left contact lens. And after a lengthy work week, it can be difficult to gather the energy to go grab a drink with a girlfriend or head to see that band you’ve always loved. Maintaining a healthy social life is a must, but you don’t have to waste your precious post-employment hours on those “friends” you don’t really need around. And then, time will come you’d ask “If these friendships are so great, why don’t they last?”

There are no formal commitments in any friendship. People become friends in an instant, rather than through a legal ceremony, and their relationships can be ended without giving any reasons why. This is both what makes friendship so remarkable and yet frustrating. And, admit it or not, there comes a time when other relationships take priority over friendship. In an ideal world, you can balance all your relationships, from your friends, to your kids, to your parents. In the real world, there are many times when your family needs you and as a result your friendships suffer.

In order to survive, friendships need to be flexible. There should be proper nurturing of friendships. Communication is very important as what is needed in other types of relationships. However, on the lighter part, it takes a special set of friends that can say to each other “I don’t have time for you now” and then go back to where they left off when the crisis or family time eases up.

The problem is that by its very nature, people tend to be emotional about friendships. When a friend puts you second, it hurts. It also leaves you with the feeling of unimportance. Furthermore, you’ll think about all the times you put that same friend first, and you’ll feel resentment.

Moreover, one of the most common reasons great friendships don’t last is because our lives are constantly changing. Besides, having a new set of companions or a new set of activities, makes us different. Events and circumstances change people. We change, they change.

We may share experiences with our friends like getting married or having children but there might be differences in the way you will be looking at life after. Unfortunately, change means a new ground that can draw a wedge between friends, even if their friendships are seemingly good at the surface. Friendships might be temporary at times but each friend you meet may add a lasting lesson in your life. Enjoy your friendships for what they are and for however long they remain in your life.