Like any other type of doing it, there are two types of moving-on. And of course, when you ask your friend, your parents, or the vast library of opinions in the internet, they will always give you the most easiest and sympathetic solution to move-on. But what if they don’t simply work and you just gotta have to brush these feelings off right now? Then there’s the hard way. It’s like when a machine clanks: the “hit-it-with-a-wrench” easy fix.
I’m not recommending this type of solution because it resembles the persuasive and convincing quote “To motivate people, you need to destroy them.” of firms since salary, apparently, is not enough to drive their employee’s productivity these days. In addition, if you have a weak heart, I suggest you go back in browsing the internet for more pleasant way. But then again, where’s the courage of moving-on when you’re still believing in fairy tales, right?
So, here it goes: The steps of moving-on: THE HARD WAY VERSION (This is your final warning. This blog is not for faint of heart).
To move-on, you would have to retrace your steps of your relationship starting from the day you met him/her up to the day the both of you exchanged goodbyes. unlike the mild way of slowly forgetting him/her and replacing the bad memories. In this way, you will exhaust yourself by reminiscing the past and a bit of tears to burst out your feelings. You would also need a camera.
First, go to the place where you first met him/her. Remember everything that happened on that particular spot. It could bring you tears but facing the reality and getting through it will make you stronger. Take a picture of that spot on your perspective and burn the memory to your mind until you feel tired and not getting affected anymore.
Then go to the place where you guys often hangout. Again, take a picture of that place from your perspective. If it’s a diner, order the same meal. If it’s a play park, play a game. If it’s a theater, go watch a movie (but don’t take pictures inside or you’ll get caught). Burn the memory into your head. Cry if you have to. Until you get tired.
Go to the place where you guys spent the happiest moment. It’s different from the place where you guys hangout. But if you think it’s the same place, then disregard this one. This particular place, like the last place you will need to visit, can either make you feel extremely angry or sad. Imagine: This is the place where you and him/her spent the loudest laughs, the memory of the warmest hug, and exchanged the tenderest kiss. And if you’re a girl and he gave you a ring for a gift, I bet this is that place. Don’t forget to take a picture.
Lastly, the place where the two of you part ways. This is the place where the skies fall down to earth. Where your world crumbles down to your feet. The dreams you thought were real was shattered to pieces. Since you’re the one moving-on, he/she is probably the one who asked for this relationship to stop. This is where you first and should be the last place where you will cry. If he gave you something that he doesn’t want back, bring them with you. Take a picture and look at the photos one-by-one for the last time. and delete them all. As for the items, if you think you have no use for them, you can trash or burn them. Go to a public comfort room, find a sink and shout as loud as you can underwater. It will make you fell better.
When you’re done, think about this: I am very fortunate to experience this moment as early as now. This is a lesson for me and now I’m free, I will enjoy my days as single and let tomorrow guide me to the deserving one.
Good luck 🙂