Unfair nga naman

Teka lang! Bago mo ko awayin sa comments section, gusto kong sabihin sa’yo na babae din ako at ang blog na ito ay hango lamang sa sa isang taong nakapanayam ko sa isang makabuluhan at madugong talakayan matapos ang pang-apat na bote.

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Heart broken ang siya at naisipang gawin kaming toilet matapos silang maghiwalay ng kanyang sintang-mahal. Sinalo namin ang sama ng loob niya buong gabi. Alam naman niyang kasalanan niya at siya rin daw ang unang umamin sa girlfriend niya na mayroon siyang iba dahil nakasanayan na niyang magsabi ng totoo.

Halos lahat ng lalakeng kaibigan namin nung oras na iyon ay nagsabing isa siyang magiting na boyfriend dahil malakas ang loob niya na aminin yon. Samantalang lahat naman ng kababaihan (kasama ako) ay nag-suggest na bakit hindi pa siya magbigti sa ilalim ng katabi naming puno ng mangga? Na-triggered ang mga lola nyo. Bakit daw may mga lalaking naghahanap parin ng iba kahit may girlfriend na. At dito na, mga kaibigan, naging makabuluhan ang diskusyunan. Ipinaliwanag na ni heart-broken-man na itatago natin sa tawag na “kuya sawi” kung bakit siya naghanap ng iba:

Sa anim na taon ng pagiging magkaibigan namin ni Kuya Sawi, nakita ko kung gaano niya kamahal ang girlfriend nyang tatawagin nating “Ate Bato” dahil matapos mo mabasa ang paliwanag niya, baka maisip mong kulang pa yang katawagang iyan para sa kanya. “Unfair” yan ang naging ugat nga kanyag paliwanag.

“Ang unfair lang kasi bago kami nagsimula sa relationship na’to, nangako kami sa isa’t-sa na gagawin ang lahat para mapasaya ang bawat isa.” – Naging mabuti siyang boyfriend ngunit si Ate Bato walang ginawa kundi magpa-cute upang mapalampas ni Kuya Sawi ang pagiging parasyte ni Ate Bato. Lugi nga naman.

“Noong sinabi niyang tigilan ko ang lahat ng luho ko; Paninigarilyo, Dota, monthly beer session with friends, gala, at pagbili ng mga kailangan ko online, ginawa ko. Pero noong pinangako niya na mageexcercise siya para masuot yung binili kong dress para sa kanya tatlong taon na pero wala parin.” – Di madaling bitawan ang mga bagay na nagtatanggal ng stress mo. Sana nga naman hindi nalang ipinangakong magpapa-payat diba?

“Marami siyang gusto sa buhay ngunit nagrereklamo siya pag nahihirapan siyang abutin yon.” – Naiintindihan ko ang isang ito. Usong-uso kasi ngayon sa mga nagtatrabaho ang magreklamo sa Facebook tungkol sa hirap ng trabaho. Pero pag wala namang trabaho, nagrereklamo parin dahil walang pang gastos at di makahanap ng kumpanyang mapagta-trabahuan.

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“Kapag gusto niyang makibag-break sakin, nagsosorry ako at pilit na inaayos ang lahat. Pero pag ako na ang napupuno at minsan hindi sinasadyang nababanggit na ayoko na, mabilis niyang ina-accept na maghiwalay na kami.” – Ang galing galing nating mga girls diba? Alam kasi natin na masasaktan siya pag sumang-ayon tayo kagad kasi akala natin nanakot siya. Di natin alam na lalo lang natin dinadagdagan ang sakit sa puso niya. Bakit di natin subukas mag-sorry din?

I hate to admit pero may point si Kuya Sawi. Pero mali yung ginawa niya na humanap ng iba dahil kung pagod na siya, sana tinapos nalang muna niya yung current relationship niya kaysa pagsabayin and dalawang babae. Ngunit kung iisipn, a promise is not meant to be broken. Dahil unfair nga naman.

Moving-on: The hard way

Like any other type of doing it, there are two types of moving-on. And of course, when you ask your friend, your parents, or the vast library of opinions in the internet, they will always give you the most easiest and sympathetic solution to move-on. But what if they don’t simply work and you just gotta have to brush these feelings off right now? Then there’s the hard way. It’s like when a machine clanks: the “hit-it-with-a-wrench” easy fix.

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I’m not recommending this type of solution because it resembles the persuasive and convincing quote “To motivate people, you need to destroy them.” of firms since salary, apparently, is not enough to drive their employee’s productivity these days. In addition, if you have a weak heart, I suggest you go back in browsing the internet for more pleasant way. But then again, where’s the courage of moving-on when you’re still believing in fairy tales, right?

So, here it goes: The steps of moving-on: THE HARD WAY VERSION (This is your final warning. This blog is not for faint of heart).

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To move-on, you would have to retrace your steps of your relationship starting from the day you met him/her up to the day the both of you exchanged goodbyes. unlike the mild way of slowly forgetting him/her and replacing the bad memories. In this way, you will exhaust yourself by reminiscing the past and a bit of tears to burst out your feelings. You would also need a camera.

First, go to the place where you first met him/her. Remember everything that happened on that particular spot. It could bring you tears but facing the reality and getting through it will make you stronger. Take a picture of that spot on your perspective and burn the memory to your mind until you feel tired and not getting affected anymore.

Then go to the place where you guys often hangout. Again, take a picture of that place from your perspective. If it’s a diner, order the same meal. If it’s a play park, play a game. If it’s a theater, go watch a movie (but don’t take pictures inside or you’ll get caught). Burn the memory into your head. Cry if you have to. Until you get tired.

Go to the place where you guys spent the happiest moment. It’s different from the place where you guys hangout. But if you think it’s the same place, then disregard this one. This particular place, like the last place you will need to visit, can either make you feel extremely angry or sad. Imagine: This is the place where you and him/her spent the loudest laughs, the memory of the warmest hug, and exchanged the tenderest kiss. And if you’re a girl and he gave you a ring for a gift, I bet this is that place. Don’t forget to take a picture.

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Lastly, the place where the two of you part ways. This is the place where the skies fall down to earth. Where your world crumbles down to your feet. The dreams you thought were real was shattered to pieces. Since you’re the one moving-on, he/she is probably the one who asked for this relationship to stop. This is where you first and should be the last place where you will cry. If he gave you something that he doesn’t want back, bring them with you. Take a picture and look at the photos one-by-one for the last time. and delete them all. As for the items, if you think you have no use for them, you can trash or burn them. Go to a public comfort room, find a sink and shout as loud as you can underwater. It will make you fell better.

When you’re done, think about this: I am very fortunate to experience this moment as early as now. This is a lesson for me and now I’m free, I will enjoy my days as single and let tomorrow guide me to the deserving one.

Good luck 🙂

By Rapunzel
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Bakit Hindi Ka Dapat Magpaligaw

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Masyadong marami pero sasabihin ko na yung pinaka dahilan kung bakit hindi pwede: Kasi ang panliligaw ay maihahalintulad sa pamimilit.

Hindi ako bitter pero baka hindi ka na rin magpaligaw pagkatapos kong ipaliwanag sayo.

Ang panliligaw marahil ang pinaka-unang hakbang upang magsimula ang isang matibay na pagsasama. Kung dito pa lang sa parteng ito ay magkakamali ka na, siguradong malaki ang magiging epekto nito sa pagsasama niyong dalawa.

Ganito ang istilo ng mga kalalakihan sa panahon ngayon:

1. Pag-Obserba
Kikilalanin ka niya. Marahil bilang isang kaibigan o pag-silip sa Facebook mo. Maari rin sa pagtatanong sa mga tao sa paligid mo. Sa pagkakataong ito ay oobserbahan niya ang iyong kaugalian, estado, kultura, minsan relihiyon, pisikal na pangangatawan, at ang iyong ideal partner. Pag pasado ka, susunod na ang pag-bago niya sa sarili.

2. Pagbago sa sarili
Pipilitan niyang i-adjust ang sarili upang mapansin at magustuhan mo siya. Siya ang magiging ideal guy mo at tiyak na magugustuhan mo siya. At kung sakali namang hindi niya magawa yung ibang mahirap na aspeto (gaya ng pangangatawan), bibigyan ka niya ng ideya na magpapabago sa kagustuhan mo. Halimbawa “Pangit din pag may abs kasi chick magnet. E pag medyo mataba, masarap yakapin.”

3. Panliligaw
Ito ang step kung saan ipapakita niya sa’yo na may interes siya sayo at gusto niyang maging parte ka ng buhay niya. At dahil siya na nga ang ideal guy mo, papayag ka magpaligaw. At sa loob ng maikling panahon na pagpapakilala niya sayo bilang taong pinapangarap mo, ay mahuhulog ka sa kanya.

Wala namang problema doon kung mapapanatili niya ang sarili niya bilang taong hindi totoong siya hanggang sa pag-tanda niyo. Paglumabas ang tunay niyang kulay matapos ang ilang buwan o taon, may pagkakataong ka pa upang ayusin ang lahat. Yoon nga lang, maraming mga araw na ang nasayang. Nakapanghihinayang kung sa loob ng maikling panahon na kasama mo ang maling tao, ay siya namang nagpakita sayo yung totoong taong para sayo. Masasabi kong swerte ka pa. Isipin mo ngayon kung inilabas niya ang tunay niyang pagkatao after ng kasal niyo. Mas malaking problema, diba?

Ganito na lang. Trust your instincts. Sa iyong imahinasyon, gumawa ka ng ideal guy mo. Itsura, estado, ugali, at lahat ng aspetong masasabi mong mapapa-ibig kang talaga. Ang mundo ay may Pitong bilyong tao na may 1:1 ratio, imposibleng hindi mo mahanap ang ideal guy mo. At kung hindi mo siya makita, marahil hindi pa ito ang tamang oras para makilala mo ang taong magpapatibok ng puso mo.

Kung nahanap mo naman na si Mr.Right, ipagtapat mo sa kanya ang tunay mong nararamdaman at wag mo siyang pakawalan. Ingatan mo siya at huwag mong sasaktan. Tandaan mo na kung mutual ang feelings niyo, madali kayong magkakasundo at magkakaunawaan. Ano man ang gawin niyo ay matatanggap ng isa’t-isa.

Hindi niya kailangang manligaw dahil nagpapa-impress lang naman siya sa’yo. Hindi niya pinapakita ang totoong pagkatao niya, bagkos, ipinapakita niya ang taong gusto mong makita sa kanya. Nararapat lamang na magustuhan mo siya sa totoong pagkatao niya at hindi sa pagpapanggap niya.

By Cinderella
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Paano Niya Sinira ang Relationship Niyo

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Ayan. At nandito na nga tayo sa puntong wala na kayong tiwala sa isa’t-isa. Dati’y kayo ang sumisimbolo ng forever na ipinagmamalaki ng mga kaibigan nyo. #WalangForverBREAKER! Ngayon nandito ka sa dulo kung saan naghahanap ka ng kasagutan sa tanong na

“Saan ako nagkamali?”

Buti nalang at biniyayaan ka ng internet upang mahanap ang sagot bago mahuli ang lahat. Hayaan mong sabihin ko sayo kung ano, or rather “sino” ang dahilan kung bakit nasira ang  pagmamahalan nyo. Kung sa tingin mo walang sino man ang may kinalaman sa pagkasira ng matibay ninyong pagmamahalan, think again. Malakas ang power of influence, maniwala ka.

 

Ang relationship ay parang DEAL. Pag hindi kayo nagkasundo sa umpisa, 99% lalagpak sa malamig na semento ang kinabukasan nyo. Hindi pwede ang adjustment. Para ninyong niloloko ang sarili nyo non kasi hindi yan parang relehiyon na pinanganak kang Katoliko at matapos ang labing-anim na taon ay binautismuhan ka bilang Born-Again Christian nung nalingat ang parents mo noong isang Linggo. Ano man ang gagawin ninyong adjustment ay kalaunang babalik sa dati at lalabas ang inyong mga tunay na kulay. Yung 1% para lang yun sa mga taong handang tanggapin ang lahat. Mga taong may satisfaction sa buhay. Alam naman nating bibihira lang ang mga taong ganoon.

At eto ka, nagtatanong kung saan ka nagkamali at tila iiwan ka niya. Ang totoo, masyado mong inadjust ang sarili mo. Isinara mo ang pinto at nag-focus sa inyong dalawa ng partner mo. Nakalimutan mong tumingin sa mga tao sa paligid mo at hindi mo sila nabantayan.

Ito lang naman ang sistematikong ginawa ng taong sumira ng pagmamahalan niyo:

  1. Motive
    Maraming klase ng ulterior motive. Maaring gumaganti siya. O gusto niya yung partner mo. Pwede rin ayaw niya sa partner mo o sayo mismo kung pamilya siya ng isa sa inyo. Posible ring katuwaan sa kanya ang lahat. Ano man ang dahilan, huli mo na ito nalaman dahil malapit na siya magtagumpay.
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  2. Weakness
    Hindi kailangang maging stalker para malaman ang kahinaan ng isang relationship. Makinig ka lang ng kaunti, malalaman mo na. Hindi rin kinakailangang pumasok sa social circle, kahit tao lang siya sa background mahahanapan niya ng butas ang pagmamahalan niyo. Madalas ang kahinaan ng isang relationship ay kung ano ang wala at dito na niya naisip kung papasok siya sa social circle niyo o manunuod lang siya sa likod dahil mas safe doon. Gagamitin niya yung bagay na wala sa inyo at ibibigay niya sa kanya o sa iyo. At mukhang tinanggap na niya yoon ng hindi mo alam.
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  3. Authority and Status (side strategy)
    Ang hakbang na ito ay para naman sa gustong tapusin ang relationship niyo in just a snap. Simple lang, kung parents mo siya, tatakutin ka niya o yung partner mo. Maaring ginawa niya ito upang mataasan ang mga kayang ibigay mo sa partner mo. Hindi ko naman sinasabing Gold Digger ang kasintahan mo, pero let’s be honest, malakas talaga ang hatak sa mata kapag may katungkulan yung tao. Magre-rely ka nalang sa tiwala o sa angking kakisigan at kagandahan mo.
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  4. Idea
    Sabi nga nila, “Ang Ideya ang pinakamalakas na armas ng sangkatauhan.” Binigyan niya ng ideya ang partner mo at sinimulan niya yun sa pagbigay ng kung ano ang kulang sa relationship niyo. Maaaring nagbigay siya ng better choice. Maaari ding idinaan niya sa deal. Maaari ding nagbigay siya ng haka-haka base sa kinuwento ng partner mo sa kanya. Ideya rin ang dahilan kaya’t magsisinungaling ang partner mo sa’yo.
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  5. Doubt
    Sinira niya ang tiwala ng kasintahan mo sa iyo. Dahil malakas ang kapangyarihan ng impluwensya. Madali lang sabihin sa partner mo na…hmmm… “may nangyari sa amin kagabi”? o “Anong binili ng jowa mo sa Sogo kahapon?” or… “Alam ko yang mga ganyan. Siguro may iba na siya?” Simpleng ideya na naging pagdududa. Kung nag-aaway kayo ngayon, nandito ka na sa part na ito. At pag hindi mo naayos yan, huling yugto na siya sa mga plano niya.
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  6. Break Up
    Bihira lang ang mag-partner na hindi humahantong sa hiwalayan after ng Doubt. Nakaligtas man kayo ngayon, hindi na nito maaayos ang lamat sa pagmamahalan ninyong dalawa. Mauuulit ang pag-aaway na naranasan ninyo. Pahirap nang pahirap hanggang sa puntong susuko ang isa sa inyo. Pasensiya na ngunit sa oras na tumuntong ka sa pang-limang hakbang ng pagmamanipula niya, mahirap nang ayusin yan. Lalo na kung may history ka pa ng pangangaliwa o panloloko. Isa yang sumpa na kailan man hindi maaalis sa pagkatao kahit hindi mo na ito ginagawa.

Isang pagmamahalang nasira dahil sa ibang tao. Masakit man tanggapin ngunit madalas, Break-up na talaga ang sulusyon dahil hindi man siya nagtagumpay ngayon, babawi siya sa susunod. Sumuko man siya, may ibang papalit sa kanya upang ituloy ang nasimulan niya. Hanggang sa lumaki ang crack at tuluyang mabasag ang tiwala ninyo sa isa’t-isa.

Nasagot ko na ang katanungan mo. Nagkamali ka sa pagwa-walang bahala sa mga taong nakapaligid sa inyo at hindi mo naisip na maaari nilang sirain ang relationship na iyong iningat-ingatan.

Kung sakaling malampasan niyo ito, wag mo na kalimutan na ang mundo ay hindi lang sa inyong dalawa umiikot. Isipin niyo rin ang mga tao sa paligid niyo. Mahirap ayusin pero wag ka mag alala. May solusyon para diyan.

By: Cinderella
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And How About Peter?

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It’s almost Holy Week and Catholics are preparing to commemorate the Holy Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. A time we remember His journey together with his apostles. And when we say apostles, the most iconic of them all is probably Judas Iscariot also known as “Judas the Traitor”.

Surely, our parents nor preachers didn’t taught us to hate Judas but somehow, we ended up hating the man. Filipinos even uses his name for cursing when someone broke their trust.

“HUDAS ka talaga!!” 

Seriously, what does Judas got to do with your problem anyway?

And what about Peter? Unfortunately, we’re not here to add fuel on the fire of roasting Judas. We’re gonna have a small talk about how Peter should be in the same place as the traitor Judas.

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Both Peter and Judas forsake Jesus but in different ways. You see, Jesus already told Judas that he would betray him from the start simply because it’s part of the plan. It is to make sure Jesus will reach the point of Crucifixion and cleanse the world with his blood. Judas successfully finished the job in exchange of 30 silver coins.

Now let’s go Peter. Like Judas, Peter was also told by Jesus of how he will forsake Him. It is clear Jesus told Peter “This very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” and then Peter replied “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” But on the night when Jesus was captured and beaten, Peter denied Jesus for three times in front of Him. Isn’t that rather rough, don’t you think?

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Judas hanged himself for what he have done. And as for Peter? After fleeing away and set apart from other disciplines, he was crucified upside-down in Rome in Rome at his own request since he saw himself unworthy to be crucified in the same way as Jesus.

What do you think? We all know Judas’s betrayal is unpleasant but how about Peter? Isn’t what he did much unacceptable and considered as betrayal? I’m not siding with Judas here but I really think it’s wrong to involve Judas’s name when cursing a traitor especially if we all know, Peter did much worst.

“Isa kang PEDRO!!” (nah~)

By: “Snow White”

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Is the Social Media Keeping People to Stay Lazy?

“If it feels good, then it must be right.”

Presenting: The mindset of some people to justify laziness.

Being Lazy sometimes is not a bad thing. But if you get addicted to it, it will cling on you to the point that is almost impossible brush-off. It will stop your development and will result to unwanted effects that you were once vowed to avoid when your just a little kid.

“I want to be a doctor.”

…and where are you now?

Well, they’re not entirely lazy because laziness is when you feel tired to do everything. Most people calls it laziness when you prefer leisure over productivity, like playing video games, Facebook browsing, reading online visual novels, et cetera which are actually your hobbies. And when I say “productivity”, these are the activities that promotes well-being and generally acceptable lifestyle, like finding a job, exercise, skills enhancement, and outdoor explorations.

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Social media is both the medium and at fault for keeping some people lazy. Since Facebook and other social networking sites works with the freedom to share on public, everything a person has to say is expected to influence a few who reads his wall posts. Now imagine if highly influential people started posting about feeling good in laziness.

Social media notifications can distract your working attitude and if you’re a blogger like me, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Facebook and other social networking sites are getting frequent updates than your love life. And now, your browser or mobile phone can notify you. This is one of the reasons why social media is highly discouraged in every workplace. Imagine when you’re working on a complex paper work and suddenly *ting!* a pop-up notification on the right corner of your screen? Goodbye focus, hello scroll-down. On your way to laziness pit.

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It’s not just the social media, but also the people using the social media are the ones responsible for toppling people off track to adulthood. Remember the trending hashtag #Adulting when teens starting to brag about cooking and other house chores which in our early days, were taught to us by our parents and should’ve practicing it for the rest of our lives? Successfully boiling water doesn’t tell you’re ready for adulthood. Stop being lazy and get things done.

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Posting ideology also helps these people to find reasons to be lazy. According to Benjamin P. Hardy, an Organizational Psychology student, It is likely for C students to be more successful in life than of students with A and B ranks because they question the validity of academic system. ideals like these are now circulating on the social media which people uses to reason out why they don’t study their lessons at home.

It could also be a marketing strategy. Because there are more than 1 billion active Facebook users in the world and is impossible that none of them didn’t saw your advertisement. More products are hitting your newsfeed that came from laziness. You’re too lazy to fold the clothes so the market made you a machine that folds for you. You’re too lazy to go to buy the grocery so the market lets you hire a deliveryman for you. You’re too lazy to cook your meal so the market cooked the finest and hot fast food for you.

And all of these products that are way easier to see, thanks to social media, have the tagline “to make your life easier” where in which “to hide the lazy consumer within you”.

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Hiding under some cuddling photos is the undeniable fact that you are pleased to be lazy yourself starting by reacting to them. Photos of people under these zodiac signs; photos of a couple lying on a bed all day; photos of cute pandas; photos of laziness quote with strong message; photos of laziness and sarcasm; et cetera. What unacceptable with these persuasive photos is when people find it adorable and they will tag someone. Laziness influence en-route to instant world domination.

Social media is a medium of expression to everyone. Whatever you say or do in your account will affect your social circle. You have followers, admirers, viewers, and people that look up on you. Your posts matters to them. The way you use your social media account reflects the entire you. Be a good example to them and most of all

 

Laziness is laziness.

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By “Cinderella”

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White Wolf

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Dear Black Wolf;

I hope you’re finding me on the right direction. Please look closer. Please focus. Do this and you will find my destination. I hope this message Reaches you in time before you lose My tracks.

Black wolf, If you’re reading this, you will understand why I choose to hide this message in these paragraphsPlease, reconsider your actions and decisions. Whatever you will do next will carve a big dent in your memories forever. It will hurt so much that no amount of tears can erase.

Through years of wandering alone, I have learned a lot. Drama brings down the toughest organizations; Unacceptable opinions cracks the strongest bonds; Messages ignites revolutions. I saw it all, but it made me strong.

I heard that you were disowned by the pack. Please black wolf, come and find me. I left some hints for you.

In our pack, there are 2 rules that cannot be broken: “Family first” and “Respect”.
These rules made our family strong against threat but whenever there’s strength,
there is challenge. This is the moment where our family, the ones who thought us respect, are the same ones who broke it. You are now standing between your family and what is right. The terrible truth is, the reality that no matter what you choose, the pack will still leave you behind.

You are humiliated, shamed, and accused by committing dishonorable deeds by your own kind. If they are pointing fingers at you, please don‘t start fighting them. Conflict only breeds catastrophe. If you fight and win, the ghost of conscience will never stop haunting your thoughts. If you lose, your chance to walk away will be out of hand.

I know family is important to you but sometimes it’s better to walk straight than turning left or right. We’re both trained to survive independently.

Again, don’t fight them. Hurting our kind is just another proof that they are right about you. If we do it, we are no better than a thief.

Please, stay in the trail so you won’t get lost. This could be the last scent I’ll be leaving for you.

Sincerely,
Your Real Color.

By “Rapunzel”

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